Adolescence can be both an exciting and challenging time. It is a period when teens formulate their identity. As they move toward independence and self-sufficiency, all teenagers struggle with questions, such as “Who am I?”, “Where do I belong?”, “What do I want to be in the future?”

For adopted teens, these questions can be more complex. They may find themselves having questions about their biological family, wondering who they are and where they come from. During this time many teens are trying to figure out who they are and who they want to be. As they navigate through identity formation, unknown or missing information can leave a void and even create a sense of loss. Adoptive parents may not know how to answer these questions, meeting with a trained counselor can often be very helpful.

Challenges Your Child May Face

• Identity Formation—Adopted children may not know their birth parents and may be struggling with questions you may not have the answers to, such as “Where do I get my eyes?” or “Do I have siblings?” They may also be wondering why they were given up for adoption.
• Control and Autonomy—While this is a common conflict for parents and teens, an adopted teen may experience this even more intensely. Many adopted children feel that there are decisions that were made without their input, this can add to this being more complicated.
• Search for Belonging—The feeling of not belonging may arise when adopted children cannot trace their biological history. This can leave some children feeling as if they don’t truly fit in or belong, especially if they feel exceptionally different from the rest of their family.
• Grief—When children become aware that they are adopted, they may grieve over the loss of a relationship with the biological parents and the family connections that could have happened. The feeling may be especially intense when there is little or no information available about their birth parents.
• Fear of Rejection and Abandonment—The adopted teen may want to reconnect with the birth family, but may also be afraid of rejection. The feeling of being abandoned can be coupled with hurt over being “given away”, and may be compounded if your child has siblings raised by their birth parents.

Potential Psychological Effects of Adoption

CNN reports that adopted children face a greater risk of mental health disorders. Compared to a child born into the family, a child who has been adopted faces unique challenges and concerns that revolve around identity, self-esteem, and grief. Even if a child has been with their adoptive family since birth and grew up with secure attachments, a feeling of emptiness may still emerge during their teen years.

Statistics on the effects of adoption have shown that both the adoptee and birth mother are susceptible to depression and that rates of self-harm are higher in these populations. Apart from depression, some additional diagnoses observed in adoptees include anxiety, reactive attachment disorder (RAD), attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), drug and substance abuse, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and more. When left untreated, these symptoms and behaviors can become destructive in ways that you may not be equipped to manage.

Helping Your Adopted Teen

As an adoptive parent, you have no control over what your child experienced prior to adoption, but you can provide an environment where they can find safety and healthy growth.

If your adopted teen is experiencing emotional distress related to the adoption, therapy can be helpful. Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC contacts with licensed therapists that can help. Call today to get started.