What is False Guilt?

Unfortunately, almost everyone is familiar with guilt. It is a natural feeling, though it doesn’t always feel that way. Guilt can push us to be the best versions of ourselves, though it can also be toxic and paralyzing when it lingers past its welcome. Ridding ourselves from guilt entirely isn’t possible, nor would it truly be healthy. If you are feeling stuck in guilt it is time to do something about it. Learning more about false guilt and what you can do to move past it can help. 

True Guilt versus False Guilt

Guilt is often a red flag telling that you have done something “wrong”. It is an emotional warning sign that we develop at a young age. It prompts you to take a closer look at your behavior and its effects on others as well as yourself. Guilt can also teach you lessons, allowing you to do better moving forward. 

The guilt response can bring pain and distress that urges you to do something, perhaps make amends, in order to feel better. Whether it is about offering a sincere apology to ask for forgiveness or taking action to make up for what happened, the pain of guilt usually goes away.

Guilt is not all “bad.“ Guilt can be helpful and healthy when you have in fact done something “wrong”. This feeling can challenge us to learn and grow, we can make amends and move forward doing better as we go.

 Unfortunately, false guilt is all too common. This is when we feel guilty and have not actually wronged ourselves or anyone else. We can feel this when we have regrets or feel that we have failed to live up to what others expect from us. When accompanied by shame and ridicule, we can punish ourselves, be critical of ourselves and develop a guilty conscience that can wreak havoc on your life and self-confidence. It is difficult to move forward from this type of guilt since amends cannot be made when there has been no true wrongdoing. False guilt can create a vicious cycle that is difficult to break free from. 

Living with Unresolved Guilt

Everyone makes mistakes because nobody is perfect, not even the most conscientious people. Despite your best intentions, you will make mistakes and even hurt others. The key is to own up to your mistakes and accept that it is part of being human. After all, there is no point in hanging onto mistakes. All we can do is try to make things right and do better in the future. 

It is crucial to find resolution and let go of guilt. Guilt’s purpose is to call something to your attention, so you can correct your behavior to prevent it from happening again in the future. If your guilt is overstaying its welcome, counseling can help.

How Can Counseling Help with Guilt? 

Counseling can offer a safe place to process your feelings and learn healthy ways to move forward. Approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help you to challenge negative thoughts and beliefs that are feeding your guilt. You can reframe this narrative and begin to move forward. 

Find the right therapist for you, contracted with CCS in Southern Pines, NC. Our caring and knowledgeable Scheduling Team can connect you with a counselor that can help you move past your guilt to a more positive future. Call today to schedule your first appointment!

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