Have you ever said hurtful things to a loved one that you wish you can take back? Have you ever felt ashamed of your behavior after having time to reflect? Do you get angry and frustrated a lot, but keep it inside? If you answered yes to any of these questions you may want to take a deeper look at how you express feelings of anger.

Not all conflicts end with healthy resolution. It can be difficult to know what to do with anger. You may find that you project these feelings more than you’d like or that you bottle them up until you feel as if you may explode. Perhaps your experience is somewhere in between. Either way, if you feel you aren’t dealing with feelings of anger as you would like there are things you can do about it. Counseling can help.

Problematic Anger

Feeling angry is a natural human emotion. In fact, it can be a useful response that intends to “preserve” or protect you. Anger can become problematic when it is excessive and/or leads you to behave in ways you regret later. When not properly managed or addressed, anger can turn into rage and become destructive. This can happen in response to the sudden release of adrenaline, the “fight or flight” hormone.

While it can be healthy to express your anger in productive ways, expressing it in unhealthy ways can be emotionally damaging to others and yourself. It isn’t necessarily healthy to react to anger by yelling, throwing things, storming out etc. It also isn’t healthy to ignore feelings of anger. It is possible for you to learn healthy ways to address these feelings.

Ignoring Anger

Fearful of the negative consequences of expressing anger, you may choose to hold everything in. While you may feel this is a better alternative, it can be unhealthy for you. By suppressing or “stuffing” your anger you open yourself up to other unhealthy behaviors such as resentment, withdrawal, alcohol or drug use and/or isolating. Quite often suppressed anger can breed feelings of sadness and even depression.

Avoiding anger can also lead you to feeling negative, cynical, irritable and even habitually angry. This can also take a toll on your health and overall wellbeing. For many, stuffing anger does not work out well. It will eventually come out, and rarely when we want it to.

Transforming Anger into a Healthy One

Anger is a basic human emotion. It can be argued that it isn’t our feelings that cause us problems, it is our avoidance of them. When we do this, it is more likely that we will express our feelings in an extreme or violent manner. It can be a deceiving emotion that can blur your judgment, obscure your logic and cover up other feelings. Anger is one of the few emotions that is a secondary emotion, getting to the feelings beneath the anger is when you can really grow. You can’t stop anger, but you can better express it with the help of Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC.

Transform your anger. Harness its potential and make it work for you in a positive way. Call today to schedule your first appointment.

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