Teenage years can be remarkably challenging. Amongst many challenges teens often face physical changes, peer and social pressures, societal standards, expectations, school…. The list goes on. With family issues, things can get complicated and overwhelming. To top it all off, this is also a critical time for self-discovery and the search for self-identity.

The quest for self-identity is “normal” but can be daunting. Some teens face this developmental milestone head on, though some may struggle. When your adolescent shows signs that indicate difficulty, it may be time to step in. Professional intervention can be a tremendous help to both you and your teen.

Understanding the Value of the Quest

One’s identity, or sense of self, is a person’s definition of who they are. The concept of identity is often made up of personality characteristics, patterns of behaviors, abilities and qualities. The quest to build this definition is a major milestone for teenagers. Discovering their identity is both critical and meaningful, because it gives them self-control and independence that can guide them through life. The development of one’s identity is important because it is connected to the development of emotional maturity, and it is inevitable because it is fueled by hormonal and neuronal changes, accelerating their growth both physically and emotionally.

Finding out who they are is easy for some teens. For others, it can be a more difficult process. There are many reasons why your adolescent may struggle. Environment, personality, low self-esteem, depression, anxiety can add additional challenges.

Regardless of the reason behind the difficulty, one thing is certain: that sense of self has to be discovered. Without knowing who they are, they run the risk of having more emotional insecurities and concerns, even beyond adolescence.

Risky Identity Issues

How would you know if your teenager is having trouble with their quest for a sense of self? Psychology expert Les Parrott offers five common ways in which teens demonstrate their struggles with the quest for self-identity: through status symbols, forbidden behaviors, rebellion, idols, and cliques’ exclusion.

While identifying with an icon or being part of a clique isn’t necessarily undesirable, it can be alarming if your teen is emulating someone or a group whom you believe is not a positive influence. Excessive emulation isn’t healthy in any context, and it can lead them to lose self-confidence and rebel.

Counseling: Achieving a Positive Sense of Self

Helping your child to develop a healthy sense of self can be a stressful undertaking. You want what is best for your child, to help them learn and grow, though this can be difficult to do on your own.

The challenge that lies ahead isn’t just about the quest for identity—it is also about discovering a positive sense of self. You have the power to guide your child in this important task, with the help of an independent, experienced counselor contracted with Carolina Counseling Services — with locations in Southern Pines and Pinehurst, NC. Call us now to schedule your teen’s first appointment.