Knowing the
Signs and Symptoms
of Low Self-Esteem

Our level of self-esteem can impact so many areas of our lives. Having healthy self-esteem can help you to succeed and reach your goals. When you believe you deserve good things you strive for them and are more likely to set healthy boundaries and communicate what you want and need. When we feel less than and are experiencing low self-esteem the opposite can be true. Low self-esteem can cause a lot of complications for you, but the good news is you can improve the way you view yourself. Self-esteem varies and you can increase it at any time. This can be complicated to do on your own, therapy can help.

Is this you? The Indications of Low Self-esteem

By becoming accustomed to or even expecting to fail, you may be likely to develop a perpetual sense of inadequacy, self-doubt and even self-loathing. Thus, one of the hallmark indications of low self-esteem is negative self-talk and self-criticism. You may compare yourself to others often, criticizing yourself for being inadequate.

Low self-esteem is also closely associated with the following conditions and experiences:

  • Codependency
  • Social anxiety
  • General anxiety
  • Shame
  • Depression
  • Inadequacy
  • Powerlessness
  • Physical or emotional abuse
  • Perfectionism

Low self-esteem may also be indicated by the following:

  • Difficulty trusting your own decisions and opinions
  • Becoming a consistent follower rather than a leader
  • Always thinking of the worst
  • Fearful of changes and challenges
  • Harsh judgment of self, but tolerant with others
  • Recurrent feelings of apprehension and internal turmoil
  • Atypical signs and symptoms include being a workaholic, overachieving, and underachieving.

The Challenge in Moving Forward

Self-esteem starts to develop early in life. Negative experiences – hurtful criticisms, neglect, abuse, traumatic life events, missing out on meaningful experiences, etc. – can interfere with the healthy development of self-esteem. These childhood experiences can potentially prevent you from improving your sense of purpose and confidence. Without any constructive reinforcement for your early achievements or being shamed for being or looking different, you could also be more likely to develop low self-esteem.

While many children and teens can successfully overcome poor self-esteem, some struggle more than others, and it may persist into adulthood. This can happen if you have a negative or shaming environment, says psychologist Ryan Howes, Ph.D. In this kind of environment, a person has the tendency “to internalize the idea that if they act out, they’re not just behaving badly, but they are bad.”

If the experience is continually reinforced, it is possible for that child to believe that they are bad and see negative experiences and emotions as permanent and all-encompassing. They may also be likely to believe that they deserve all the failures they experience throughout their life. On the contrary, positive people or those with high self-esteem do not internalize negative events. Rather, they see them as merely temporary setbacks from which they can draw valuable life lessons, says clinical psychologist Celeste Gertsen, Ph.D.

To work though low self-esteem and a negative self-image it is important that you begin to believe that you are a good person and that mistakes/failures are acceptable, just as having flaws and weaknesses are natural. Unfortunately, changing or adjusting a deeply-ingrained, “distorted” perspective about yourself isn’t an easy thing to do. It could be easier to believe that you aren’t good enough or that you can’t change for the better anymore. This can be the real challenge in overcoming low self-esteem.

Improving Self-Esteem with the Right Kind of Help

A number of studies reveal that low self-esteem is linked to many other problems. Unhealthy self-esteem can impact the various aspects of your life, from your emotional and physical health to your relationships and your studies or career. Though these factors may not be permanent or all-encompassing, you may believe they are. If you have struggled with poor self-image and negative self-worth since you were young, it is time to move forward. As an adult, you have the power to change things in your life. Begin by working with a therapist that is right for you.

With a long history of negative self-criticism and self-talk, it can be more challenging to improve your self-esteem. While it can be hard, it isn’t impossible. Therapy can help you to improve the way you view yourself. It can help you accept your limitations and believe in yourself more – that you have what it takes to gain more confidence and be as good as anyone else. It can give you the courage to acknowledge that failures are as common as successes.

Counseling and/or therapy can help you address your self-esteem and gain a stronger sense of self, so you can be more confident, assertive and self-aware. By discovering and affirming your sense of accomplishment through specific activities and goal-directed forms of therapy, you can significantly improve your self-worth. This is how counseling can help you develop a positive sense of self.

You can do this. CCS contracts with a number of licensed counselors and therapists that know how to treat low self-esteem. Call Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC to make an appointment! Online counseling and in person sessions are available.

 

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