As the surging hormones of your adolescent child kick into overdrive and the rest of the body follow suit, your teen is likely to experience a lot of emotions. They may become confused, scared, sulky, and guarded. They may even talk back and be outright defiant. In the thick of their “teen evolution” many parents lament that they don’t recognize their own child anymore. If this happens to you, it may be time to understand the seemingly “enigmatic” change by asking a child psychologist or counselor.

The Search of identity

Every child will go through that path in search of a positive sense of identity as they traverse the road connecting childhood and maturity – the stage of adolescence. With all the changes, they are bound to wander from the path – and they would need guidance. They are also bound to wonder who they are as they too become strangers to their own selves.

Searching for identity is important to determine where they want to go or how they would become. This is what will guide them as they pursue their lives and fulfill their life goals. Without finding their identities, they may just end up doing whatever may please others, but not what may fulfill them.

How they discover their identities may be fun, but it can also be extremely challenging or even risky for many. They may try to establish their identities through imitating people they admire, through defying the norms in an attempt to be different, through prestige, or through joining cliques to belong.

Helping and Finding Help

Through this difficult process, you are the person in the best position to help your child. They will look up to you, even if they may not openly show that. If you seem out of touch, uninterested, unsupportive or having a different take on what they should be, you may be sending the wrong signals, unintentionally pushing them away.

If understanding their search for self-identity or plight is proving difficult and resulting in anxiety or frustration, you may want to seek help for yourself to work through these reactions so that you can function well and be of help to your teen. If the chasm between you and your child seems to have gone wider or your teen seems to be manifesting depression or anxiety or other behavioral issues because of their confusion, you may want to seek help for your teen too.

Traveling with your child down the road from adolescence to maturity is doable if you’ll reach for help.

Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC has independently contracted counselors who can guide you to become a positive influence to your child in a diplomatic manner. These counselors may also guide your child as they take baby steps to find their identities. Call CCS – Southern Pines, NC, so we can work together in helping your teen discover their self-identity.

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