Is your child reluctant to go to school or often complains of physical pains to avoid having to attend? Is he or she losing money or other possessions a lot without apparent reasons? Does your child come home with unexplained bruises or injuries? Be aware! These are just some of the signs that your child could be being bullied in school.

Bullying can take several forms, but the most common kind is school bullying by classmates and schoolmates. It isn’t something that you can dismiss because it can have a deep impact on your child’s current emotional health and beyond. There are interventions that can help your child survive bullying. Aside from reporting it to the rightful authorities, your child may also need the help of a counselor to assist him/her in strengthening their emotional health.

Understanding Bullying: What is it?

Bullying is an age-old issue that is generally associated with growing children and teens, and to a certain extent, among adults as well. According to Good Therapy, “Bullying is an attempt, usually a systematic and ongoing one, to undermine and harm someone based on some perceived weakness.” The action is deliberate. It can take varied forms, including verbal abuse, intentionally shunning or excluding the victim, purposely hurting them, and/or damaging their possessions.

With the advent of the Internet, bullying has taken another form – “cyberbullying.” This has come to impact many teens over the last decade or so. It can cause them extreme embarrassment, distress, fear, and an extensive list of other negative feelings. If they start to feel helpless and hopeless, they can be driven to extreme responses, such as substance abuse and self-harm, in an effort to escape or withstand the bullying.

When the Line is Crossed

Children and teens love to have fun and they can be rambunctious. They can be boisterous, tease one another, even occasionally hurt one another or have conflicts in the process of playing. Bullying isn’t the same as having routine conflicts or accidently causing pain in the occasional bout. Conflicts may arise due to differences and the associated playful banters can usually be worked out among them. Though, bullying is more serious because it is deliberate. When the actions or words become intentionally harmful, offensive, cruel or unkind, and constant, it has crossed the line of fun – bullying has to stop.

Bullying can damage the victim’s self-esteem and it can trigger a lot of negative emotions. It can prevent a child or teen from pursuing enriching relationships and interactions. It can also stand in the way of making the most of their potential. Its effects can be lifelong, interfering with the proper development of their social skills and their ability to interact with others. If unaddressed, many victims can become bullies themselves.

Why Step In: More Long-Term Effects

Children and teens react to bullying in varied ways to protect themselves or to survive its harshness in their psyches and emotions. It can be as complicated as the bullying itself. It is common for many to “run and hide.” According to Psychology today, it can lead to “perpetual isolation, shutting down in conflict, having a general mistrust of people, overall avoidance of conflict, people, places, things, and one’s own feelings.”

These are not good signs. In fact, several studies reveal that there are victims who may fight back or become bullies to those whom they perceive as weaker than they are. Psychology Today cites some of the long-term effects of bullying: “chronic defensiveness, needing to be right, problems with authority, self-attack, and self-destructiveness (including substance abuse and addiction).”

It is also possible that the victims withdraw socially and/or perpetually suffer from eating disorders, being submissive, losing sense of self, and poor decision-making. They can get used to these, so that they may become their traits or pattern of behavior for life. The unfortunate thing is they may not even know that these are consequences of childhood or adolescent bullying.

The Signs: What You Need to Watch Out For

Many youngsters will not tell you outright that they are being bullied. While struggling with poor self-esteem, they may think they are to blame for it. Bullying can make them feel afraid for what may come if you went to school and reported the other children. They may also feel too ashamed or guilty for feeling weak, and as a result most will keep everything bottled inside.

To help them, it is important to recognize the signs of bullying. What are some of the signs you need to watch out for?

• Reluctance to go to school or to get on the computer.
• Your child’s mood changes after looking at their cell phone or going on Facebook.
• Your child may not want to get on the school bus; begs you for rides to school every day.
• Is frequently sick, with headaches and sleeping problems—and often wants to stay home from school.
• You might notice damaged or missing belongings, or that your child keeps losing money or other valuable items.
• Unexplained injuries or bruises.
• Your child doesn’t seem to be eating his lunch— comes home unusually hungry, or their lunch comes back home with them.
• Your child might be moody, anxious, depressed, or withdrawn.

Know that these symptoms are non-specific. This means that these do not necessarily indicate actual bullying. However, if they do exhibit several of these, it may be constructive to pay attention and/or seek help right away.

How Therapy Can Help

Your child could be too young to recognize bullying right away or too helpless to do something about it. This underscores the importance of being an informed parent to support and help them in surviving their bullying crisis. As a concerned parent you probably want to act quickly to resolve your child’s pain. A huge step in the right direction that many parents miss, is to seek out professional help to address their child’s painful emotions. Therapy can help in easing negative feelings brought about by bullying, such as resentment, fears, shame, worry, and isolation.

Therapy can assist your child process and share their emotions, because these feelings can impact their overall emotional health. They can internalize the feelings too deeply, so that they suffer from long-term consequences – having a poor sense of self and difficulty trusting others or they may not able to maintain satisfying relationships. Therapy can also assist the victim in developing a healthy self-image to better understand themselves. It can help them bounce back using certain skills, such as boundary setting and assertive communication.

Therapy can also help the “bullies.” If your think your child is engaging in bullying behavior, or he/she is acting this way as a defensive response to bullying, they can acquire new skills to communicate positively with others. Often, victims who become bullies have unresolved individual wounds that could trigger their conduct. Therapy with a proficient professional can be a vital step towards improving their behavior.

Stepping In: When’s the Right Time

If you notice the signs of bullying with your child, don’t delay – step in now. Provide the necessary help they need to withstand this ordeal and come out ahead. You need not look far, Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC, is in the neighborhood. It contracts independent, licensed therapists who may be just the right fit to help your child.

We human beings are social creatures that basically need interaction with others for a fulfilling existence. This built-in need can motivate people, as well as children and teens, to seek out others for survival. Everyone may need to interact with others, yet nobody needs enemies and bullies. Bullying must be stopped, and it can stop now. Call Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC today to make an appointment!