Betrayal has the ability to cause so much devastation in marriage. It cuts deep and destroys not just the trust between partners, but even the ability to have faith in one’s own sense of judgment. An affair can destroy a relationship, though it doesn’t have to. It is possible to heal after an affair, counseling can help. 

The Aftermath

The moment of discovery or disclosure will likely be hard to forget. You may be in shock or feel numb. You may also feel pain, anger or some other hard-to-define mixture of emotions. In the initial stage, all you may want to do is to get even or to hurt your spouse in the way you are hurt. If you know you want to remain in your relationship, it is important that you get through initial responses without doing more harm to the relationship. This can be overwhelming.

The most important thing is not to make any drastic decisions when you are feeling overwhelmed by emotions or feeling numb. This can be a tall order as intense emotions often leave us feeling as if we need to act immediately.

Healing Together: Is It Possible

Healing from betrayal will not be easy as it touches on the most fundamental aspects of a loving relationship – trust, unfaithfulness and abandonment – but it is possible. Forgiveness is an essential element for healing, though it can be difficult to do this. In many cases, healing together is possible, but challenging.

You and your spouse will be coming from different perspectives, which may require different approaches for healing to take place. Sooner or later, you and your spouse may want to consider going to therapy together so as to heal as a couple and to prevent further betrayals or conflict.

Moving Forward Together

Love may not be everything in a relationship, but it can be a good place to start. If you are both sincere in giving your marriage a second chance you may be unsure as to where to begin. Counseling can be a wonderful place to process your feelings and begin working toward healing. 

Carolina Counseling Services in Southern Pines contracts with skilled marriage therapists and couples counselors. Call today to get started. Online counseling is also available, making getting help easier than ever before!

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• Marriage Counseling: Moving on After the Betrayal