Handling the Emotional Aspects
of PCS in the Family

Military families face many unique challenges, including frequent Permanent Changes of Station (PCS). Moving is demanding for any family, but military families move so frequently that the emotional impact can be greater. Getting orders isn’t always dreaded, but it does mean packing up not only the house, but your family’s emotions as well. Even when a move is positive, it can be overwhelming. 

The logistical challenges of frequent moves can be mastered with time. The emotional challenges, however, are generally nerve-wracking. Managing your feelings as well as everyone else’s can be a tall order, counseling can help. 

Packing and Unpacking Your Emotions

Every PCS is accompanied by a whirlwind of activities to move your physical belongings swiftly and efficiently. These logistical challenges determine how easy or difficult your transition will be to your new home. A poorly laid out plan can complicate everything.

Leaving behind the environment you and your family are used to can bring up a lot of feelings. With your attention focused on the required flurry of activities, you may push your emotions away. You may also overlook your children’s ambivalence, confusion, and fear, and fail to recognize if they are showing signs of anxiety or depression.

While you pack your bags and boxes, you may also be unconsciously packing and stowing away raw emotions as you bid friends, classmates, neighbors, and fellow workers good-bye. This can’t go on forever. All these emotions will come rushing back in due time, maybe as soon as you hang the last garment in the closet or your child leaves for their new school. As the energy of the move wanes, trepidation, confusion, and fear of the unknown can overwhelm you and your family. All of this can be A LOT to adjust to.

Moving and Resentment

Moving can be overwhelming and can lead to hurt feelings and resentments. Anxiety and tension mount, and at some point, these feelings may boil over. It is not uncommon for arguments and conflicts to be more frequent during these times.

During a PCS move, many family members can get into intense arguing and display angry behavior for even long periods of time. Tensions are high when moving, it makes sense that you and your family are feeling on edge. 

The Unique Challenges Military Children Face

The young members of the family are not exempted from feeling the pressure of a PCS. Moving away from their comfort zone of familiar people and places can confuse them. They may ask why their friends can’t come over to the house anymore to play with them during the weekends. They may feel apprehensive talking to their new classmates, mentors, or coaches. They may struggle and refuse to go to a new school and/or to play with children they don’t know.

According to Military.com, “It is critical that your children have enough time to say good-bye to the family members and friends they’re leaving behind.” Children are still developing emotionally and have a more difficult time handling challenges. These sudden changes can feel almost traumatizing to them. Preparing your children with the assistance of a counselor can help everyone to make a smoother transition.

Making the Most of a PCS

Moving from one location to another can be an emotional roller coaster, but it doesn’t have to be all “doom and gloom.” With the help of a professional counselor contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC, you can process these changes and find ways to move forward. 

Moving is overwhelming, you deserve support and a place to process your feelings. There will likely be a sense of loss and that’s okay. You can grieve what you have lost and look to the future all at the same time. 

Counseling can provide support to you individually as well as to your family. Don’t forget about your own individual needs during this time. Call CCS today to get started. Online counseling and in person sessions are available!

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