Feel Better: Escaping Self-Harm
Everyone reacts to stressors in different ways. Some find relief through outlets, activities that they may enjoy. Perhaps you find relief through talking, venting going for a walk. We generally aren’t concerned by means of coping until they begin to cause us problems. If you begin coping by oversleeping, overeating, isolating, not sleeping or eating or harming yourself it is time to look at other ways to manage distress.
Self-harm is a dangerous way to cope with intense feelings or situations. If you feel better when you inflict pain on yourself, you are not alone. While self-injury is rarely discussed, it is not as uncommon as you may think. A positive aspect to this is that there is help available. While you may be left feeling alone, you are not.
Self-harm is an unhealthy and dangerous way to find relief, but there is a way out of it. Counseling can help in understanding what’s causing you to self-harm and in discovering healthier ways to feel better.
Why Self-harm Deserves Attention
You deserve to feel better – everyone does. Self-harm, however, can create a false feeling of relief as it doesn’t actually change anything in your life. In fact, it can even make things worse, creating more challenges and complications in the long run. Once the short-lived pain is gone, everything comes back along with negative feelings such as guilt, remorse, and/or shame. This is one of the reasons why you may feel compelled to find alternatives. There are other critical reasons why you may wish to stop self-harming:
- Self-harm is a risky behavior that can also become addictive. Perhaps you initially wanted to increase your sense of control over your life, not knowing that it may turn into an obsessive behavior that you would have difficulty stopping. Once it becomes a habit, there is always the possibility that it may lead to something more serious, though unintentional.
- Self-injury can put you at risk to worsen emotional conditions, such as depression and anxiety. It can also increase the risk of substance abuse.
- Self-harming can affect how you relate with others. Self-harm is often done secretly which can lead you to isolate yourself. This can increase symptoms of depression and also harm important relationships.
- Self-injury can cause serious health concerns and potentially cause loss of life. While you may not intend to end your life, just the negative feelings, self-harm can go to far and become a suicide attempt whether you wanted it to or not. There have been many cases where individuals have accidentally made deeper cuts than intended leading to infection and potentially resulting in a life-threatening complication.
Are You or a Loved One in Need of Help?
Self-harm can be difficult to talk about. There can be a great deal of denial whether you are the one injuring yourself or someone close to you is. It can be helpful to be aware of warning signs to know if it may be time to seek counseling.
According to Help Guide, the following are warning signs and symptoms of self-harm:
- cutting or severely scratching your skin
- burning or scalding yourself
- hitting yourself or banging your head
- punching things or throwing your body against walls and hard objects
- sticking objects into your skin
- intentionally preventing wounds from healing
- swallowing poisonous substances or inappropriate objects
Self-harm is also intentionally putting yourself in danger, such as being reckless in driving, substance abuse, drinking, etc.
Self-harm is often undetected due to the secrecy surrounding it. This is why recognizing the symptoms of a loved one, especially a child or teen, can be more challenging. Some red flags to watch out for are:
- Mysterious scars or injuries on the arms, wrists, thighs, chest, or other parts of the body.
- Blood-soaked cottons, gauzes or clothing pieces or marks on towels, garments, etc.
- Possession of items that can be used to cut in their bags, drawers, room, etc.
- Frequent “mishaps” to explain mysterious injuries.
- Wearing long pants or tops with long sleeves inappropriately (for instance, during a hot, humid day) to conceal cuts, wounds and scars.
- Spending a long time inside the bathroom or bedroom and avoiding people.
- Change in behavior, becoming irritable and wanting to be alone most of the time.
Feel Better and Escape Self-harm
People who self-harm are not just looking for attention, this is a very dangerous misconception. They are not trying to manipulate people. The tendency to use physical pain as a way to ease intense emotions is not uncommon though it does require urgent attention.
With the help of a competent and understanding therapist, you can begin to realize that it isn’t something that you should conceal or feel guilt/shame about. Overcoming self-harm entails treatment in the hands of a competent therapist. Find the right therapist for you, one who is independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Pinehurst, NC. Call today to schedule an appointment.