Children can have a tendency to misbehave. While some behaviors are common, if not expected, others can be downright concerning. Fits of anger, disobedience, defiance, destructive behaviors and bullying are a few of these unacceptable behaviors. While even these behaviors may occur on occasion, there are times when these behaviors are a warning sign. When these behaviors are exhibited with frequency and intensity it may be time to take action.

A child may not necessarily be a bully just because they pick on another child. However, if you are getting frequent reports or feedback from your child’s teachers, other parents or children, you may want to consult with a child therapist. According to Swedish psychologist and bullying expert Dan Olweus, “bullying involves repeated, aggressive behavior with a negative intent from one child to another, where there is a power difference.”

If your child has concerning behaviors or difficulty perceiving and interpreting social signals, they may benefit from counseling. These types of behaviors can lead to social, interpersonal and educational difficulties. Other children may avoid them leaving them feeling alienated. This can be difficult for a child to process and could likely affect them in other areas, such as school and extracurricular activities.

What Can Trigger Concerning Behaviors?

Your child’s behavior can be a response to an internal or external stimulus or trigger. A trigger could be something in the environment, such as a situation or challenge, that is difficult to deal with. There are triggers that happen right before a behavior and there are those that may occur long before the behavior is exhibited. Recognizing triggers can aid in preventing behaviors and/or resolving behaviors more quickly.

At home, misbehaviors can be triggered by many different things such as rules, discipline, sibling rivalry, conflict, intense feelings etc. Other changes or things may trigger negative behaviors such as not getting enough sleep, hunger, sickness, beginning or stopping a medication to name a few. If your child is feeling unhappy or feeling rejected by their peers, they may also want others to feel as they do.

At school, beginning a difficult new task or ending one they enjoy could trigger misbehavior. They may also respond with anger or aggression when they are not getting the attention they want or when getting attention from people they don’t like. Negative comments from their peers and authority figures may also trigger negative behaviors. Excessive noise and lighting, even a seating arrangement not to their liking, can also be problematic.

More on Triggers

Triggers are discussed often these days and it is important to know what they are and what they aren’t. Triggers can be identified as causes of behaviors, but they are not necessarily excuses. Identifying triggers can be essential in addressing ways to effectively cope and choose healthier behaviors rather than behaviors that cause more harm than good. These behaviors are not necessarily “bad”, but they are likely unhealthy and causing your child (and likely your family) difficulty.

Negative behaviors could be your child’s way of saying that something is wrong, or they are confused. It could be a sign that they are unhappy, or they feel restrained. These behaviors could also be indicators of something more such as ADHD, anxiety, depression, oppositional defiant disorder etc.

While it can be important to dig deeper when a child exhibits behavioral concerns it is not always helpful to avoid intervention. Even when there is a clear-cut trigger to behaviors. It is possible to validate emotions while challenging behaviors. Therapy can help.

Transforming Your Child’s Behavior

Child behaviors can be challenging, but you aren’t alone in this. There are effective approaches to resolve your child’s behavioral concerns. Counseling can help you and your child understand triggers to unhealthy behaviors and help to find new ways of coping with distress.

Are you ready to address your child’s behaviors? Help is available, the right therapist independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC may be the resolution you are looking for. Call today to request your first appointment.