Adults Can Have
Low Self-Esteem Too

Looking back at your reflection in the mirror, you may not readily recognize the person on the other side. You may begin to feel frustrated that your standards and expectations for yourself are unmet and are, therefore, not reflected by the mirror. You likely want to have the confidence to interact with others, and feel self-assured when speaking your mind, but you may discover that these are easier said than done.

Facing others with insecurity, fear and self-doubt can seem like one of the most daunting things in the world. When you are unsure of yourself it can be difficult to assert yourself and ask for what you want. Symptoms of anxiety can add a layer of complication to all of this. If you are concerned about your self-esteem, know that there are things you can do to improve it. Counseling can help.

The Downward Spiral of Self-esteem

Have you ever wondered what self-esteem is? Based on The Mayo Clinic’s definition, it is “… your overall opinion of yourself — how you feel about your abilities and limitations.” People who have a healthy level of self-esteem usually see themselves in a positive light, believing that they deserve respect. On the other hand, people with low self-esteem typically see themselves negatively, thinking they do not deserve attention or respect.

It is widely held that self-esteem begins to develop during childhood. This is probably why low self-esteem is more commonly observed in the younger population. If low self-esteem does not improve over time, however, it can still affect you through adulthood. With that said, it is not unusual to find adults experiencing problems with low self-esteem.

Self-esteem can fluctuate throughout our lifetime. This is actually a positive thing; it means you can improve your self-esteem.

There are different factors that can affect the level of your self-esteem. The Mayo Clinic identifies the following:

  • Your thoughts and perception
  • How other people react to you
  • Experiences at home, school, work and in the community
  • Illness, disability or injury
  • Age
  • Role and status in society
  • Media messages
  • Relationships with those close to you

Causes and Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem

There are many factors that can contribute to low self-esteem. Self-esteem is basically how we view ourselves. This can be influenced by our family, friends, society, life experiences and more.

Having a low view of yourself is not necessarily a diagnosis, however, it is often seen alongside symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Good Therapy mentions other experiences and symptoms that might point towards low self-esteem:

  • Codependency
  • Social anxiety
  • General anxiety
  • Shame
  • Depression
  • Feelings of inadequacy
  • Feeling powerless
  • Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
  • Perfectionism

Low self-esteem can also manifest in other forms such as:

  • Always questioning your choices and decisions
  • Preference to be a follower rather than a leader
  • Long term observance of the “loser” mentality
  • Worrisome of changes and obstacles
  • Critical of yourself but lenient with others
  • Continuous worry and confusion
  • Poor work or school performance
  • Perfectionism and/or being a “workaholic”

Experiencing low self-esteem can cause your worth to wither. It may also make you view yourself with disapproval. These feelings have a direct effect on almost every aspect of your life. Failure might become a common occurrence when you keep on feeling unsure and inadequate. The most dangerous effects of low self-esteem are conditions like anxiety, fear, guilt, blaming oneself, and even depression.

Therapy and Self-Esteem

Your self-esteem doesn’t have to stay low, you can change the way you view yourself. While this may seem easier said than done, it certainly can be done. Therapy can help.

When you find the right therapist you can begin to unpack what has led to your negative view of yourself. You can challenge negative thoughts and learn to reframe them in healthier ways. Improving your self-esteem is possible with therapy. Call Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC today to get started.

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