Society can often paint the picture of marriage equaling a “happily ever after”. While your marriage may be one of your most valued relationships, it may often feel far from perfect. The idea that marriage equals happiness can be a dangerous myth for many, leaving you feeling inadequate if you feel anything but blissful. Unfortunately, there is no comprehensive manual on how to navigate through the complicated adventure of marriage. While there isn’t a roadmap to a happy marriage, therapy can help.

The Obstacles Along the Road

Marriage can be an adventure. While it can be remarkable and rewarding, you may not enjoy all the pit stops along the way. It is not abnormal to miss the honeymoon stage once daily challenges start to present themselves. Sometimes there may be bumps in the road and steep hills to climb. While this can feel challenging at times, you can face this together.

Life presents many unique challenges from navigating living together to raising children. These obstacles can be further complicated by depression, anxiety, illness, infidelity, substance use, the list can go on and on. It can be difficult to work together as a team when presented with layers of difficulty.

Your road as a married couple may also require you to make detours or navigate tricky sections that require special caution. It can be hard to face these challenges as a united front, therapy can help.

What Are Signs Your Marriage May Benefit from Counseling?

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. While we know this to be true, there are things that can be done to improve your relationship. If you notice any of the following signs, you and your spouse may benefit from couples counseling:

• Disrespect – If you notice that what used to be patience and love has been replaced by resentment and contempt it may be time to take a closer look. This may look like avoiding being together and seeming to be happier when you are away from each other.
• Frequent fights and arguments – Fighting and arguing about the same subjects repeatedly, insults, name calling etc. When fights have become personal and lacking in fairness.
• Failing communication – There are fewer and fewer exchanges of meaningful communication between the two of you. Mutual problems and concerns affecting the relationship are not discussed and/or resolved due to lack of communication.
• Lack of intimacy – When intimacy becomes a thing of the past, you may be left feeling more like roommates. Apart from the absence of intimacy, couples who stop caring and feeling emotions for each other are at higher risk.
• Loss of trust – Trust is the central piece to a successful relationship. If couples do not trust each other, whom can they trust? fears of unfaithfulness and divorce are signs that the trust level between spouses is low.

If any of these signs speak to you it may be time to look into couples counseling to strengthen your relationship.

Finding the Hidden Treasure

Being married is not a mere label or “status,” but more of an opportunity to grow as a couple. Marriage is journeying together on a long, winding, and sometimes uphill road of joy, laughter, tears, fights, caring, selflessness, intimacy, etc. It can be an awesome journey, but it is not for the faint of heart. No one has “arrived” because marriage is a continuous journey, not a destination. Many marriages work because each partner decided to make it work.

One of the treasures of marriage can be found in the person you married. Perhaps you need to look closer to see that even amid your partner’s flaws, they are still that remarkable person you chose to marry. Life can weigh us down and make it hard to see the positive attributes you both possess, don’t lose sight of that.

Signs of a Happy and Healthy Marriage

While no two relationships are the same, there are some signs of a healthy relationship:

• Spouses consider each other as best friends. Couples who enjoy doing things together and prefer to be in each other’s company often tend to have healthier relationships.
• Couples that feel comfortable in expressing their emotions. No matter what emotions they feel at the moment, spouses can safely express them without fear.
• There is freedom to grow. Spouses who feel safe in their marriage allow each other to spread their wings and explore opportunities for personal growth. You may both enjoy being together, but you allow each other to enjoy other things independently.
• There is time for intimacy. Despite some physical changes, the spark between each other does not diminish through time.
• Conflicts are resolved fairly. There will still be arguments of course, but resolution will be found and there isn’t emotional abuse along the way.
• Spouses work as a team. Both spouses may be playing a different role in running the household, but each one is flexible enough to provide support.

Marriage can indeed be a journey worth taking. Life may become a little more fun, easier, and stimulating knowing there is somebody to enjoy the ride with. The trip can sometimes be difficult and may throw you off course, but it can be worth it.

How Can Therapy Help?

Just like a car that needs a motor tune-up, taking your relationship to the “shop” may be beneficial in promoting a happy and long-lasting marriage. While everyone’s journey is different, seeking marriage counseling can help to make your marriage last.

When the going gets rough, seek help from a marriage counselor independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Southern Pines, NC. Studies show that couples who seek counseling when experiencing difficulty have higher chances of resolving marital problems than those who do not. Regardless of how long you have been married, seeking professional intervention to improve your relationship can make a world of difference. Call today to request an appointment.

• When to Call for Help – Eight Signs of an Unhealthy Marriage
• Letting the Old Feelings Go After Divorce
• The Time To Seek Couples Counseling
• Is Your Relationship Facing Challenges?
• Going it Alone in Saving a Marriage
• Meeting Overwhelm Head-On as a Couple